Dear Sandee, Thank you for lighting a candle for my son, Adam. I just finished reading through a lot of Jeff's website and I can tell you it makes me feel so sad for you. Jeff was a beautiful young man with so much life ahead of him, I know how you must feel today. Losing my Adam has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with, I'm sure you are struggling with all of the same feelings I do. Addiction is a difficult battle to fight and it sounds like Jeff had made up his mind to give it another try, what a pity it was too late for him. I know you've heard this from everyone, I'm sure, but at least now, Jeff has found the peace you always wanted for him. He is in heaven with the Lord and happier than any of us can imagine. Our sons were close in age, Adam born in August of 1969 and Jeff passed away a year before Adam did. Sometimes, those words, "passed away" still don't seem right to me, but I was with Adam, with my hand on his heart when he died. By now I should be accepting of the fact that he has died, but sometimes, sometimes, I just hope I'm just in the middle of a bad dream. You are right, Adam was loved by many and he had so much love in his heart for the world, it makes it harder to understand why the Lord took him. Adam died of toxic mold infection of his lungs, brain and sinus passages. By the time his doctors found out what was happening to him, it was too late to turn it around. He had been treated for everything from simple allergies, bronchitis and adult onset asthma, but in the end it was discovered that the home he bought 10 years ago was covered with 3 different types of toxic molds, behind the walls, under the commodes, behind tiles, etc. We live in Arizona, so the last thing in the minds of the specialists was TOXIC MOLD. Once we brought in an epidemiologist it was discovered that his lungs were covered with this mold, as was his brain and sinus passages. My baby died because he loved old, historic houses and never, never in a million years ever thought there was something in his house that was making him sick. Each year his respiratory problems seemed to get worse, but his doctor never even thought ................... You can imagine how I feel Sandee. I'm sorry that Jeff lost his battle. He was such a handsome young man, with a beautiful daughter and a family that was so supportive, it just should not have happened, but it did and I know your heart is broken. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and in my heart. God bless.
Merry Christmas, son. I know there must be a celebration in heaven and you and all our loved ones are looking down on us getting ready to see the delight on the faces of the children as they sit by the tree opening their gifts. I'll try to remember to do the video. You always wanted to have a video of the Christmas activities and we have so many through the years - from the time you and Billy and Betsey were little children to the time we were watching Abby put on the white flowing dress and singing and dancing around the room. Your happiness was always so childlike at Christmas time. I miss you as always and know that I will not live long enough for this pain to subside. I know from losing your daddy that it takes a long long time. Give Conner big kisses for me and make his Christmas as good as we will make Abby's.
You were the most amazing person I ever knew. / Lauren Carlisle (Niece)Read >>
You were the most amazing person I ever knew. / Lauren Carlisle (Niece)
Somehow, Jeff, you always made me happy..something no one could do. You mean so much to me, it's completely unexplainable. I miss you so much. You cared about everyone..and I don't know how many times I could tell you that everyone cared about you. We still care about you Jeff. It breaks my heart to look at your pictures and know that I'll never see that smiling face in person ever again. It kills me. When you died, it was the hardest thing I had ever dealt with, especially being the age I was. I had you my whole life, and to suddenly lose you was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I wish you knew how much I love you. Hopefully, it goes without saying. I love you Jeff, more than you will ever know. Close
Happy Birthday, baby / Mom
I thought of you on your birthday and remembered the first day I saw you with your sweet little round face. You looked so much like your daddy, except for all the dark brown hair. We were so proud to have another little boy. You were a friend for Billy from the first day your were born. And then a big brother to Betsey. You wanted to protect her from everything. As time went on and life dealt some hard blows, you had a hard time protecting anyone including yourself from all the pain that life can bring. But you were still able to find joy and humor in many places. You always wanted to be happy and make others feel that way. I'm having a tough time being happy without you, but I know that you wouldn't want tears, so I will not cry more than once a day. And I'll laugh every chance I get. Birthdays were always so special to you. You always wanted to get the "cool" toy on your birthday so you'd have it before any of your friends. I remember "Stretch Armstrong" and how proud you were to have the first one. Then there were the Superman years and you would ask for Superman every year. This would be a good year for Superman - they are everywhere. So, Happy Birthday baby. I tried to write yesterday, but my computer was not cooperating. It doesn't matter...I think of you everyday. Close
Last night I dreamed about you. I dreamed that you had gone away to a rehab and we didin't know where you were. Years had passed and we hadn't seen you. In my dream, no one talked about you and it was as if you never had existed. No one else longed to have you back. Then, all of a sudden, as I searched for you, I realized that you were dead and that I would never get you back. The pain hit me when I woke up and realized that that was the reality that I have to live with. You really are gone forever. You're not in another state at a rehab. You're not in Helen with all the guys working hard to recover. You're not with Abby or Billy or Betsey. You're not upstairs sleeping or watching TV. You're not at a meeting. You are at a place where I can't visit. I sure hope it's a good, safe, loving place and I hope I get to join you when the time comes. I hope you left knowing how much I love you.
Thanksgiving without you / Mom Yesterday was Thanksgiving and everyone came to my house - everyone but you. I missed you so much as I do every day. But with everyone here, I remember how you would have been the one taking videos and making everyone laugh. You would have been bringing out the games to play and taking the kids aside and showing them some card tricks or telling Billy something "gross" you had read or seen on TV. If you had been here, you would have made your sweet potato casserole and I wouldn't have so much of mine left over. Yours was the best. You were fun and funny and I just know that the reason we had such a beautiful, warm sunny day was because you put in a good word with God for us. Thanks, son. You are still with me every single day. This is one emptiness that just won't go away.Close
You never knew how special you were / Suzy Lefler (Abby's Mom )
Jeff - I really don't know where to start here - but I know in my heart I need to. This is harder than I could have imagined, yet somehow I saw it coming someday. We share the most wonderful daughter in the world, Jeff. I know that is our opinion, but God, Jeff she has been through so much and still considers her mommy and daddy perfect. She has so many people that love her and you would be beaming with pride at the MANY talents she has. She is so much like you in so many ways. Of course she looks just like you, but she loves to entertain people and make them laugh and happy. I pray every night that she stays the way she is and knows happiness and peace and never has to go searching for it. She is the love of my life and always will be. I know she is where she needs to be right now as much as it kills my heart.
Jeff, I miss you. No one in this world will ever, ever replace you. We tried to save each other, but I guess we couldn't. Please know that I am OK. I think about you daily. I will never ever forget you or stop missing you. I will always love you.
i am the luckiest girl in the world / Abby Carlisle (daughter)Read >>
i am the luckiest girl in the world / Abby Carlisle (daughter)
My daddy was the most perfect man on the face of the earth. It seems as if my dad had no problems at all. The people who sold him the drugs, curse you people. CURSE YOU! People who are on drugs now, i know this will not make you stop. but being on this website, i hope you learned your lesson. This is what one glass of wine or one cigarrete can do. My father died 2 days before my birthday. i am 9 now. he died when i was six going on seven. all those people who have litten a candle , thank you. light a candle right now! i just know my daddy would love it! =] <3 many thanks!
You are missed! / Tommy Fain (High School Friend )Read >>
You are missed! / Tommy Fain (High School Friend )
I met Jeff in sixth grade, but did not know him as a friend until high school. I sat next to Jeff in english classes for two years, and have never laughed harder in my life. Jeff had a spirit that was infectious, and a mischevious side that got me in lots of trouble - but it was all worth it.
I recently heard that Jeff had left us, and that this website existed. I cannot tell you how sad it makes me that Jeff is no longer here, but I know that heaven is truly filled with laughter now that he is there.
Wish You Were Here / Jeff Lyle (long time friend )Read >>
Wish You Were Here / Jeff Lyle (long time friend ) Jeff and I met in 8th grade at Trickum middle school in 1983. For the next 6 years we were inseperable. In so mnay ways we were clones - humor, music, adolescent pursuits, and so many many other areas. Jeff was the cool, good-looking one, I was the tag-along. Unfortunately, we also shared unspoken pain that we rarely talked about in those days, and it wa sonly when we were into our thirties that we were brave enough to talk to the real stuff. Somehow, by the grace of God, I overcame my hurts. My friend never was fully able to. Regardless of our personal hang-ups, we remained friends, and I wish that I could have been there for him in his last days. He is safe now, and his precious daughter, Abby, is so much a part of him that, in a way, he is still here with us.
Jeff, I miss you. You were a powerful influence in my life, and I cannot wait to see you again as we then both will be as we were ever meant to be.
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